The nerd ethos.

Part of being a nerd is working bloody hard for what you achieve- with the exception of those infuriating people who have amazing memories or talents and don't have to devote their lives to studying.
To be a nerd is to have more books than can fit in your bag, to suffer spasms of back pain from carrying it, to have your eyes ache from speed-reading. It is to sacrifice any hope of a social life, to allow even your social skills to deplete, and to purge your life of the kind of fun that everyone else seems to incur. It is to stay up late studying, to go to bed so tired your head feels like it's going to explode, to be unable to sleep for being stressed, and then to get up the next morning and do it all again. It is to spend your weekends diligently writing summaries and limiting your telephone time.

The end goal of this torture is to attain damn good marks. It is what sets apart those who do well and those who just don't. It is then an injustice on the part of the education system that some people receive the same or similar results just by "winging it" and providing an intricate web of excuses.

I know that life isn't fair, but education should be. Every school endeavours to provide an equal and protected environment in which learning can thrive- clearly this does not correspond to the real world. However, if this is how the school system is supposed to work, then it should do what it's meant to. Someone who struggles to meet work requirements should not be rewarded more than someone who consistently fulfils expectations and tries impossibly hard to do it.

Furthermore, getting a good education is meant to be important in succeeding in life. To me, success means happiness. Why, then, am I so dissatisfied with my life when others, who aren't slaves to their desks, seem to be so much happier? Their lives look like so much fun, and admittedly I am extremely jealous.

Unfortunately, one lesson that I will never learn is that at some point, I should stop trying. As much as I know that studying is futile, and that I would be a lot happier shirking my responsibilities and going out and spending inordinate amounts of money, I won't do it. What's stopping me? The nerd ethos- to keep trying, to study harder to the detriment of my personal enjoyment, and to then complain about it incessantly.