This is why I love public transport.

The following is a true story, devoid of any exaggeration or embellishment that would make it of higher entertainment value, as the unaugmented version as you see it below is already funny enough.

Several months ago, I boarded the bus home after a stressful few hours of draining my bank account at Chadstone. Unfortunately for someone who suffers mild motion sickness as I do, being 100% nerd; all of the forward facing seats were taken. Being the last person to board the bus, I was the only person on a backwards facing seat. Aren't I lucky!

So whilst sitting on a backwards-facing seat, I could see all of the people on the bus in the forward facing seats that I was so envious of. And as seems to be the case on most modes of public transport, there was a Pervy Old Man of an obvious nationality that I will not disclose, but can probably be inferred by anyone who uses public transport. I seemed to be in Pervy Old Man's line of sight, and once I noticed this, I attempted to secure eye contact to let him know that I knew that he was a Pervy Old Man. Unfortunately this did not seem to deter him in any way, so I decided to be a bit of a Pervy Old Man myself and intently stare at him to make him as uncomfortable as I had been. What does Pervy Old Man do?

He looked away and started picking his nose, doing more excavating that most labourers do. Disgusting, but also hilarious, invoking a fit of laughter from me. But, since all of the other passengers were facing forwards, nobody knew what I was laughing at, except possibly the poor, deplored looking girl sitting next to the Pervy Old Man. Of course, they all like at me like I'M the weird one, whilst Pervy Old Man is having the time of his life digging for treasure.

Since giggling, especially whilst on one's own, is an attention drawing behaviour, Pervy Old Man looked at me again. And kept picking his nose. Which made me laugh even more. He soon realised what I was laughing at, and ceased his digital indiscretions.

But the story doesn't consummate there. A few minutes later, he pressed the stop button, indicating that he wanted his amazing adventure on the bus to come to an end- whether this stemmed from the embarrassment he suffered or because he actually needed to get off the bus, remains a mystery to this day.

After he disembarked and was safely on the outside of the bus, obviously unbeknownst to him, I could still see him through the windows. And of course, he was... picking his nose. Peals of laughter and more funny looks from my fellow passengers ensued.

The moral of the story? Pick your nose on buses at your own discretion, at the risk that I may laugh at you.