The definitive list of useless appendages.

The human body is a wonderfully retarded thing. Yet there are many appendages which are irrelevant to the purposes we utilise it for. A list is the best way of documenting such useless limbs, actually that is a bit of a lie, but I just happen to like lists.
1. Reproductive organs of nerds
We will never get the chance to use them unless we become really rich, so might as well perform an amputation.
2. Body hair
While technically this is not an organ, and could be classified better as a growth, it is disgusting and everyone should laser it off. In fact all hair should be abolished with the exception of head (not facial) hair.
3. Cheeks
Nothing good happens to cheeks. They get pimply, they get freckly, they get hairy and, in the case of infants, get smeared in disgusting baby food. If we had no cheeks, we wouldn't have this problem.
4. Ears
Also useless, except in the case of people who adorn their ears with sparkly earrings. Ears are also aesthetically repugnant and remind me of a snail shell (luckily they are usually less slimy).
5. Appendixes
Apparently they're ACTUALLY useless according to people who know what their talking about. Personally I have nothing against appendixes.
6. Thighs
Very few girls are happy with their thighs. Usually this is because they are fat. If we had no thighs, the amount of eating disorders would halve. Actually that's a lie because apparently eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia aren't because of fatness but a mental disorder, so the amount of cases would more or less be static. But, it couldn't hurt to get rid of thighs. Actually that's a lie too because I imagine that an amputation would be excruciatingly painful.
7. Feet
They are disgusting. They can be hairy and smelly and have diseases like tinea. Yet, they are one of the most awesome appendages ever, because they can be adorned by sexy shoes.
8. Legs
Who needs to walk anyway. Let's all sit in front of our computers all day.
9. Brains
Most people rarely use them. In fact I'm very proud of myself for keeping mine in mint condition.
10. The digestive system
If we didn't have a digestive system, we wouldn't have fat people. Or any need for food. So all of the starving children's AND the fat people's problems will be solved.

As you can see I would make a great world dictator.