MySpace versus Facebook: the quintessential debate of the late noughties.

Since the beginning of time, a question of monumental magnitude has posed itself to mankind. A question that many propose is too subjective to have an answer, too broad to condense into a single resolution, which at times degenerates into a simple matter of popularity and the current Alexa rating.

Of course, by the beginning of time I mean when life began to be worth living, that is, ever since the joys of the Internet have been enjoyed by almost the entire first-world population. And by great question, I mean the question of whether MySpace or Facebook is better. Being of such gravity, this topic has been extensively covered on the Internet and in useless tabloid newspapers. Even people who have a social life and are rarely on the computer know the basic ascendances of each: MySpace is better looking, Facebook is easier to use, MySpace has music, Facebook is better for stalking. Many debates of this breed have been strongly (and unfairly!) weighted in favour of Facebook. The numbers certainly seem to be in Facebooks favour, with the boring old people's social network eclipsing MySpace in terms on unique visitors in April of 2008. This means more people in total (probably because nobody can figure out how to delete their Facebook accounts), and consequently more Pervy Old Guys. While statistics are unavailable, the proportion of Pervy Old Guys is likely to be higher on Facebook too, because most Facebook users are older and have more money.

Since opening a MySpace account way back in 2006, I have only ever received one friend request from a Pervy Old Guy. He wasn't even that old although his reply to my "hi, do I know you?" message on receipt of his friend request was slightly disturbing. That, and his porn star-esque display name means that he will forever be condemned to be a Pervy Old Guy, in my mind at least.

I created a Facebook account earlier this year, despite refusing to for an inordinately long time on the grounds of loyalty to MySpace and unwillingness to accept my age. In the few months I have had it, I've received countless "friend" requests from Pervy Old Guys. While a certain someone on my friends list who has many Pervy Old Guy friends is impugnable for some of these unwanted requests, some of them are seemingly random and I don't appear to share any common friends with them. Facebook seems to be a hub of filthy imbeciles who send me friend requests... and Pervy Old Guys.

A distinct lack of the aforementioned Pervy Old Guys means that MySpace has a big leg up over Facebook, and carries so much weighting with it that MySpace can be deemed to be irrefutably better in every way.

Maybe everything should be graded by the amount of Pervy Old Guys, the fewer the better, like in golf (a sport propagated by Pervy Old Guys). For example, school is awesome because it does not have Pervy Old Guys, and any school that does have a multitude of Pervy Old Guys is not one that anyone would wish to attend. Hot shoes are awesome because Pervy Old Guys have very limited interaction with them... I hope. Public transport is repugnant because it has far too many Pervy Old Guys. The shops on Centre Road are abhorrent because of the abundance of Pervy Old Guys.
And of course, nerds are awesome because the majority of us are not Pervy Old Guys, at least for the time being.