I hate people whose eyes point in two different directions. I know they can't help it, but I can't help being repulsed by it. There is nothing worse than someone whose eyes point opposite ways. A little deviation isn't so bad, but if you find one eye looking forward and the other looking up, you have problems. Turn your eyeball around, for the love of god. Superglue it straight, or attach cables to it so you can control which way it swivels, whatever, just fix it for the sake of humanity.

Never thought I'd say this but I can't wait to get the fuck out of Melbourne. But it will be a fair few years at least before that will happen. Fuck you fashion capital, and fuck the people who live in you. One day, I will dump you for Sydney.

Procrastinating.

I'm pretty much the funniest person in the world, I've decided. I was reading through some of my old blogs, having neglected this thing for awhile, and they're so damn funny. Somebody should pay me for being so entertaining. But I suppose that's what the government does with youth allowance, they give me money so I don't have to work, and then I can spend that time being utterly hilarious. Aren't you glad you're a taxpayer!

I'm not so insightful lately, and am generally too precoccupied with other things to concentrate on being fantastically funny. Instead, I leave you with my most recent complaints, which actually are incredibly treachereous and not funny at all.

Being me is so difficult. I want longer nails, and they fucking won't grow. Well they do, but very slowly. And today I broke a nail, I don't even know how it happened, but now I have to grow it all over again.
I also want longer hair. Why is it that it never seems to get any longer, but it always has regrowth! Life sucks.

62 calories of amazing.

Dear You'll Love Coles Lite Shredded Mozzarella Cheese,

I love you. You are just as mild and creamy as your packet so proudly proclaims. Your resealable package is amazing. You tell me that you are great used in Italian dishes, but you're quite dishy yourself. I will never forget your promise: "love it? otherwise return product to any store for a refund or replacement". But I could never replace you. I love you just as much as your brand predicted.

<3 Natasha

Dog

It seems wrong that I've only realised now that I should be angry at you. Sorry if it's a little too late.

I want to tell her that I'm sorry, but I don't even know her.

Mirror mirror, on the wall

I'm sick of

having to look at

ugly people.

I wish there were some new colours. I'm bored of the ones we have.