Making a point about fingernails.

The Nice Nails Decree (to be implemented when I become Dictator of the Universe):

All humans are to have consistently well-groomed fingernails if they are to leave their house.

Females:
1. Must have either i) painted nails, or ii) fake french manicure nails. Real nails which have been subjected to a french manicuring process are not permitted. No chipping of the colour is allowed to be evident for more than one day, and it should be rectified at the soonest possible opportunity.
2. Nails must be cultivated to a length of at least to the end of the fingertip. Preferably, nails are to be approximately two centimeters long. Nails whose length exceeds three centimetres are to be clipped.
3. The length of all ten fingernails should all be within two millimetres of each other. Exemptions may be granted if one breakage occurs in a set of ten impressive nails, or if a nail breaks below the nail bed.
4. All nails must be painted i) the same colour; or ii) in alternating colours, provided there is some symmetry.
5. Only those who have nails of at least two centimetres may have patterned nails. Only animal prints are acceptable as patterns.
6. If these conditions cannot be met due to conditions such as nail biting, gloves should be worn.

Males:
1. Must have either nails that are bereft of nail polish, or painted black. Black nails may only be permitted in combination with the wearing of black eyeliner.
2. Nails are to be clipped at the end of the fingertip.
3. Bitten nails entails that the male's right to reproduce be revoked until nice nails are cultivated.
4. Any dirt underneath the fingernails will result in removal by pressure hose by the fashion police upon detainment.

But seriously, everyone should have nice nails, it's really not that difficult, and it looks very annoying when people have gross nails.