Procrastinating.

I'm pretty much the funniest person in the world, I've decided. I was reading through some of my old blogs, having neglected this thing for awhile, and they're so damn funny. Somebody should pay me for being so entertaining. But I suppose that's what the government does with youth allowance, they give me money so I don't have to work, and then I can spend that time being utterly hilarious. Aren't you glad you're a taxpayer!

I'm not so insightful lately, and am generally too precoccupied with other things to concentrate on being fantastically funny. Instead, I leave you with my most recent complaints, which actually are incredibly treachereous and not funny at all.

Being me is so difficult. I want longer nails, and they fucking won't grow. Well they do, but very slowly. And today I broke a nail, I don't even know how it happened, but now I have to grow it all over again.
I also want longer hair. Why is it that it never seems to get any longer, but it always has regrowth! Life sucks.

62 calories of amazing.

Dear You'll Love Coles Lite Shredded Mozzarella Cheese,

I love you. You are just as mild and creamy as your packet so proudly proclaims. Your resealable package is amazing. You tell me that you are great used in Italian dishes, but you're quite dishy yourself. I will never forget your promise: "love it? otherwise return product to any store for a refund or replacement". But I could never replace you. I love you just as much as your brand predicted.

<3 Natasha

Dog

It seems wrong that I've only realised now that I should be angry at you. Sorry if it's a little too late.

I want to tell her that I'm sorry, but I don't even know her.

Mirror mirror, on the wall

I'm sick of

having to look at

ugly people.

I wish there were some new colours. I'm bored of the ones we have.

Ambition.

How can people be entertained or even enraptured when those who generally succeed experience failure? It's more upsetting than enthralling to see those who try their utmost to attain whatever it is that they're after, fall short of their goals.

Success is something that one must earn. For example, nerds have to put in endless hours of studying to achieve the grades that they do. Someone who has not put in a comparable time commitment has no right to resent the studious for getting better marks. Moreover, he or she should be considerate enough not to gloat when the nerd has not reaped the outcome they had strived for.

Telling someone who really wanted something and tried their utmost to get it to be happy with what they've got and to stop complaining, completely disregards not only their commitment and effort but also their ambition.

Just because you lack ambition, does not mean that other people have the same outlook as you. I am not ashamed to say that I am ambitious. Unfortunately I failed to attain something that I had aspired to get for years, which I will never have another chance at. Of course, that is really upsetting. Knowing that others are happy that I failed at getting the one thing which I wanted more than anything I have ever wanted (which is saying a lot, because I tend to want everything), serves only to shatter even more. Thanks dickhead, for understanding how much I wanted this, and for appreciating the amount of effort I had invested to improve my chances only to attain no end result.

Another thing that annoys me.

I hate it when people criticise my lifestyle. If I was doing something detrimental to my health like eating detergent, then it might be more acceptable to point out the error of my ways, but just because I don't have the exact same diet as whoever decides to criticise me, does not mean that I am sending myself to an early deathbed.

What pisses me off even more about the criticisms proffered by concerned individuals, is that the advice that they offer would eventuate in me having an even poorer diet. I hate when people suggest meals that I should make, on the assumption that my mother and I cannot be bothered cooking because it is just the two of us. Just to get a few things straight; no, we do not live on microwavable ready-made meals; no, we do not consume greasy takeaways on a regular basis; and, amazingly enough, we do actually have six serves of vegetables in a day.

So you can take your stupid porridge, and curried eggs, and cheese and tomato on toast; and shove it. My body would not benefit from adopting the same diet as you; moreover, I do not have any desire to alter my eating patterns. How I treat my body is my own decision, so stay the fuck out of it and don't try to change me.