Bigger is better. Cases in point: jewellery, hair, bank account balances, wardrobes, boobs, high heels, muscles, handbags, height, brains, bathtubs, chocolate, social life.

Unfortunately, in my case at least, most of the above are infinitesimally small. The only thing I have that is absolutely huge is my butt, which is the one thing that should be as small as possible. Life is so unfair. God must hate me.